Archive for October, 2013

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By now, most have seen the damning evidence against World Series Game 1 starter for the Boston Red Sox, Jon Lester. As an unbiased writer, I can report that whatever advantage Lester was gaining from the “mysterious substance” on his pitching glove had no real impact on the game. However, cheating is cheating. Was Lance Armstrong not stripped of his titles after he was caught cheating despite winning by large margins? I am in no way way suggesting that Boston be forced to vacate any former World Series Titles, but I am suggesting that game 1 either be deemed a no contest, or the Cardinals awarded a win. Hear me out! If the umpires do something completely unprecedented and “progressive” such as overturn a call(like they did last night), then why can’t they reconvene and determine an appropriate fate for Jon Lester and the Boston Red Sox?…MLB has campaigned hard over the past decade to detect cheaters and ensure they face just punishment. Most examples we have are from steroid use, but how is this any different? This is even more egregious than steroids in my opinion – an unfair advantage is an unfair advantage. If the league wants to be perceived as pure, there is no place for a pitcher with the audacity of Jon Lester to blatantly cheat in game one of baseball’s biggest stage. The umpires and MLB will be viewed by the masses (excluding those in the greater New England area) as hypocrites at best and conspirators at worst if they don’t make a quick example out of Lester and the Red Sox organization as a whole. This cannot be tolerated.

Andrew Murky, Pissed Off, MBA

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Wacha Gonna Do???

Posted: October 19, 2013 in Uncategorized

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Ron Darling and Magic Johnson have got to hate the outcum(intential) of this game…. Pardon my boner, no! I’m HIV positive I have a boner(intential). The Cardinals were the best team in the NL all year, and they demonstrated their dominance to Jewshaw and company. 9-0! Dodgers, you kinda suck. Go to hell(stay there puig). Gnight!

Scheelhaase

We learned last week that Miami-Ohio is a sorry excuse for a football team.  The Illini looked as dominant as Alabama did against ND last year in the National Championship game.  However, this week will be a stiffer challenge.

Nebraska does not look as dominant as they have in recent years.  UCLA basically blew the Cornhuskers out.  Not even an in-denial Andy Roddick could defend his team barely squeaking by a “supposed” inferior Wyoming squad.  Compile this with the audiogate scandal and Illini looks like it could be on the verge of a “shock the world” type of upset.  A Cornhusker DE also got a little mouthy and talked about his desire to seriously injure Nathan Scheelhaase (where’s the bulletin board?). I honestly don’t know what to expect in this game.  I wouldn’t be shocked if Illinois won by 20 or lost by 20.  If you are an Illini fan, the feeling of uncertainty going into each week’s matchup should be embraced (just take some antacids).  It’s a hell of a lot better than going into a game assured you’re going to get your ass kicked.  I certainly do not know what to expect.  All I know for sure is that Nebraska fans are a bunch of fair weather f***ers – they can all kiss my a** out the f***ing door.

Prediction: Illini-35 Nebraska-28

Andrew Murky, MBA

“I don’t always play like complete shit, but when I do, I make sure it’s in the postseason.”Joey Votto

Well we have waited….And waited.  But after enduring 162 games (163 for Texas and Tampa Bay), the postseason rosters are finally set.  The self proclaimed 2013 World Series Champion Nationals are nowhere to be found.  This can be blamed solely on Obama and the turmoil he has instilled in Washington.  Obviously it was difficult for the Nationals to truly play under the moniker “Nationals” when our country can’t even stay open. (Thanks a lot Obama!)

But I digress….  The St. Louis Cardinals are the hottest team in baseball, and, based off their post season success, have to be the strong favorites to emerge from the NL.  The Reds and Pirates play this evening in a winner-take-all matchup.  It will be nice to sit back and watch who will get the not so desirable task of opposing the Cardinals in the NLDS.

The other NLDS matchup pairs the Dodgers vs. the Braves.  Both of these teams stumbled into the postseason and it will be interesting to see which team chokes (or swallows) first.  I have a feeling the Braves can outlast LA despite the peril of Clayton Kershaw potentially pitching two games in this series.  Will someone please rebreak Greinke’s collarbone, and kick Puig in the face for good measure?  I could see myself coming around and liking Puig… if only his medallion was just a tad bigger….

My NLCS prediction: Cardinals vs. Atlanta with the Cardinals utilizing home field advantage (which the Braves coughed up in the last weekend) to win the series in 6 games.

AL Prediction: Who cares?  This league continues to make a mockery of MLB with their DH, and the fact they have men actually pose as “managers.”  Billy, the “special” kid down the street, could “manage” a DH aided AL lineup.  Good grief.  If I have to pick: Cleveland (is Wild Thing still the closer?)

Cardinals vs. the Indians in this year’s fall classic!  You can take that to the bank.

“Sitting on a table does not make it a chair, just makes you a table raper.” -Anonymous

Andrew Murky, MBA

Hockey is back, and unlike our federal government, this unbiased sports writer will continue to work (just barely).

The defending “shortened season” cup champion Chicago Blackhawks will be in action tonight against the Capitals.  (I suppose the Capitals are still working?)  The question everyone is asking: Will the Blackhawks be able to be the powerhouse they were last year?  The answer: no.  The Blackhawks used smoke and mirrors to navigate their way through a shortened season last year.  This team does not have the physicality, outside of Brandon Bollig, to endure a full season of NHL hockey.  Also, although the mainstream media overlooked, four Blackhawks starters were discovered to be herms. I’ll let you guess which four.  Now that I have addressed the most overrated team going into the season, let’s take a look at who is most likely to hoist Lord Stanley’s Cup high into the air.

The St. Louis Blues have been somewhat of a dark horse the previous two seasons.  They were eliminated both seasons by Jonathan Quick and the LA Kings.  However, this year will be different for the Blues.  The younger talent of the Blues really cut their teeth last year and should be able to live up to the expectation surrounding them in St. Louis this season.  Coach Ken Hitchcock will no doubt have this team ready to play entering their season opener on Thursday night.  Is there a chance my champion prediction could be wrong? Yes. (No, there’s not.)  As the season progresses we will see who is for real and who the perpetrators of overblown hype really are (Blackhawks).  As always, I will be here to do my best to legislate finesse out of the game of hockey.  If you are concussion prone, play Jenga or join the Blackhawks and get your Sally ass off the ice.

Andrew Murky, MBA

“If it quacks like a duck, and waddles like a duck…It’s probably a grown ass man with a knife.” -Anonymous