Posts Tagged ‘Los Angeles Dodgers’

1)     St_-Louis-Cardinals-Logo St. Louis Cardinals-The Cardinals once again look like the team to beat in the N.L.  The starting pitching has been fantastic and now that the offense is starting to wake up they look like the strong favorites to win their 12th World Series Championship.  How good are they?  As good as Dustin Hoffman in Rainman- let’s get retarded.

2)      Atlanta Braves– Atlanta is hotter than Brooklyn Decker in Just Go with It.  Nobody can dispute the Braves fantastic start to the season, but until this team can prove they can beat the Cardinals they will remain #2 in the rankings.

3)      Colorado Rockies-The Rockies are cooler than an Eskimo wearing Sean Jean.  Now I don’t think this team can sustain its impressive start, but we can’t rank them any lower than third with only 4 losses on the young season.

4)      San Fran-average attendance for San Fran home games is well over 30,000; this is well above the league average.  The average weight for their starting infielders is well over 250 pounds, this is also well above the league average.  They are the current world champions so I do have to give them some dap.

5)      Arizona D-backs-Need to see more.  I think they have some real good young talent, but with a loaded West the D-back will have a tough time making the playoffs.

6)      Washington Nationals-This team is so loaded but I am not sold.  Bryce Harper looks like the real deal but this team does not.

7)      Pittsburgh Pirates-The buckos look like they might be solid again, but this team has fooled us the last two years by looking like the real deal until folding late in the season.

8)      Milwaukee Brewers-Not so easy without all those steroids…  Not impressed.

9)      LA Dodgers-The Dodgers might be the biggest disappointment thus far in the young season.  This team is also guilty of running their mouths and not being concerned about the end result on the field.

10)   San Diego Padres-I couldn’t concentrate on baseball if I lived in such a gorgeous city either…

11)   NY Mets-send that big Apple back to the orchard. I dunno, this team doesn’t impress me.

12)   Philadelphia Phillies-Phillies have some strong pitching but have been disappointing thus far in the young season.

13)   Cincinnati Reds-Cincinnati has one of the dumbest managers in the big leagues.  If Dusty could keep his team from running their mouths I could see the Reds contending for a championship, but he is more concerned about puffing out his chest, chewing his toothpick, and basically looking dumb.

14)   Miami Marlins-What’s not to love?  The 4-15 record or the gay pride parade that takes place in center field after each home run.  In all seriousness this team is a joke. Relegation?

15)   Chicago Cubs-They like keeping it real, REAL DUMB.  Are Cubs fans really saying “Wait for next year” already?

-Unbiased Sports Reporters



Last night we saw our first big altercation of the young baseball season and Matt Kemp is more pissed than a fat kid at a farmer’s market.  Zack Greinke threw an inside pitch that plunked the batter and mêlée broke out.  I do have to give Greinke props for not backing down but he still ended up looking like a 12 year old bitch.  How the heck did that hit break his collarbone?  Maybe if he would have been more of a fat kid this never would have happened.

Just like malice in the palace, sports analyst saw this as an opportune time to talk about how this should have never happened and they are disappointed it did.  Well here is one writer who disagrees.  I say bring on the fights!  It’s what the people want!  Hell, the batter should have taken the bat with him.  I usually couldn’t care less about West Coast baseball, but I’ll perk up when something like this happens.  It’s what draws us to sports teams we usually don’t give a damn about.  It’s also what draws us to Chris Brown and Rihanna.  Consequently, maybe that’s another reason Matt Kemp is more pissed than a lactose intolerant fat kid at Dairy Queen.

Bottom line, the more fighting in sports the more publicity and interest.  After all, sports are the only place where you can brawl your brains out and not be subject to the normal legal repercussions.   If I see another fight in this baseball series I’ll be happier than a fat kid sporting a diaper at Golden Corral.

Let’s get ready to rumble!

-Andrew Murky