Posts Tagged ‘Patrick Kane’

A lot has happened in the recent weeks since my last post regarding Dusty Baker and his propensity to wear too many armbands (by the way we decided 4 is one too many).  So, let’s dive into what has happened over the last few weeks.

We saw the Chicago Blackhawks raise another Stanley Cup*, although it will have an asterisk next to their title as it was won during a strike shortened season.  Seems like a very forgettable hockey season, and the Blackhawks will prove to be an even more forgettable champion.  However, I will not completely rain on their parade as Patrick Kane has successfully transformed his appearance into the ugliest man alive, so… Congrats?  It is nice that Chicago will have something to momentarily celebrate before having to again bear the shame that accompanies a population that is responsible for the demise of the West.  I kid I kid, but in all seriousness it’s almost July, I should not have the option of attending a hockey game or a firework display*****.

Bron Bron got his juice box and led the Miami Heat to consecutive NBA Championships, or did he?    If you watch closely at the 34 second mark of game six, you can actually see Lebron placing magnets on the ball prior to the Heat making their improbable run.  Seriously, check the tape (but don’t actually), and you’ll see what really happened.  Not one, not two, not er um.  That might be all you get Bron Bron.  Enjoy the juice while it’s freshly squeezed.

Phil proved, once again, that he is worse at closing than I was on prom night.    I am a huge Phil supporter and this particular loss was especially hard to swallow (‘cause of all the seamen built up from prom night).  However, this is what makes Phil so great and sometimes frustrating to watch.  The inexplicability keeps viewers glued to their TV’s.  I personally think Phil does it on purpose for ratings.  Big boy is just giving us a bit of a taste of what’s to come.  Don’t be surprised if Phil opens up a big salty sandwich, and wins the next 6-8 majors in a row, seriously! (I’m not actually serious).

Finally, we saw Nadal go out early at Wimbledon.  Who is saying they were erroneously seated now?  Na-Na-Na-Na Na-Na-Na-Na hey hey hey goodbye!

-A. Murky


English: Louie, Blues Maskot.

Who is ready for some hard hitting, puck shooting, head punching playoff hockey?  This writer is personally more excited than Tiger Woods at an all you can eat Asian buffet.  With the Stanley Cup Playoffs beginning tomorrow it is time the Unbiased Sports Reports made their unbiased Stanley Cup Champion prediction: The St. Louis Blues.

It is no secret that the Blues have followed their hearts all year.  As coach Hitchcock famously said, “We lead as much as possible, but when we must follow… We follow our hearts.”  Well said Hitch!  We couldn’t agree more with your sentiment, and know that the Blues will use their Grinch hearts (after he has his epiphany of course) to bring “3x” the pain to their opponents.

You better believe that on Tuesday night the Scottrade Center will be rockin louder than Patrick Kane at a Miley Cyrus concert.  The boisterous atmosphere will give the Blues all the inspiration they need to really take it to the Kings.  The Blues have not forgotten about what happened last year in the playoffs.  The Kings really drew a short straw and will have to face the hottest regular season team in the first round.

The Blues have some key players that will be real difference makers throughout the playoffs.  Take Vladimir Sabotka for example, this little engine will not quit!  Just when you think you’ve escaped him, he’ll be on you quicker than Jonathan Toews is on a VIP list for a Magic Mike première.  He really helps define this team’s mentality, look for him to have a huge impact in the first series against the Kings.

If the Blues advance past the first round they will have a cakewalk in the conference semis.  Both the Wild and the Blackhawks are incredibly weak playoff teams and both teams looked anything but strong the final week of the season.  This is our unbiased opinion.  If you disagree (It’s cause you are wrong), please let us know.

-Andrew Murky